A Writing Machine

 I’ve created a monster. 

After years of not writing, I followed a gentle hunch that it might be the time and now it’s like I unstopped Niagara. Watch out and keep your lifeboats handy. I wouldn’t want any of you to drown in the floodgates of my years of pent up words. 

I NEED to write. I crave it. Just like some people need to breathe, I guess. I mean, breathing is nice, but writing is vital. It’s kind of like how I feel about dancing. I need dancing like I need air too. Could it just be that I have an incredibly creative spirit that I’ve tried to tether for too long? You know, you can only keep air in a balloon so long before it escapes. My mind is always going, always gathering, collecting and creating. There’s a lot going on in there. If I don’t dance or write or create somehow, there’s literally nowhere for that thundering current to go and then sadly, I forget. The ideas dry up. And I start living as only a shell of myself, robotically going through the motions of another day. 

I don’t want to wake up to the same day anymore. Where, may I ask, is the fun in that? For me, life is the most exciting, the most fulfilling when it is full of variety and change. New ideas, thoughts, people and places thrill me! I don’t have to travel far, just outside of ordinary. 

Somehow I always knew I would be more than ordinary. I didn’t know how it would come to be, but instinctively I knew that I would break the mold. Smash stereotypes that have lingered for thousands of years. It was always a conflicting idea that scared me though, because at my very core, I’m traditional. What could it mean? Could I break through the dusty ideas of what I’m supposed to be and still maintain my values? Could I crush the mold and still hold water? I think the idea scared me enough to just put my head down, hands in my pockets metaphorically, nothing to rock the boat or raise attention. But is attention what I even want? 

Not necessarily, but it seems inevitable that part of my “shedding my proverbial skin” will raise some. You don’t go through a monumental growth period like I have without anyone noticing, and that’s fine. Maybe my experience will enlighten others and stir them from a musty sleep. That’s what it feels like I did. I’ve awakened a dragon. I haven’t created her, she was there all along, just too timid and guarded to face the light of day. 

She’s unleashed now fully though and stretching her massive wings. I’ve taken ownership of the globe, and that’s not quite enough real estate.